Movies

Movies .. good ones at least have what I call "the drug effect" ... it helps lose my focus on my life and for a brief moment have no recollection of anything that has been on my mind ...

Today I watched two good movies "Dear John" and "Love and Other Drugs" ... The first is by Nicholas Sparks so as always a great romantic story with a twist and unexpected ending, the soundtrack is amazing especially "Paperweight" by Joshua Radin and Schuyler Fisk and "Little House" by the movie's leading actress Amanda  Seyfried ... So here is the quote that I want to share from "Dear John"

The problem with time, I've learned, whether it's those first two weeks I got to spend with you, or the final two months I got to spend with him, eventually time always runs out. I have no idea where you are out there in the world, John. But I understand that I lost the right to know these things long ago. No matter how many years go by, I know one thing to be as true as ever was - I'll see you soon then. 

And as for "Love and Other Drugs" (which I don't recommend for any conservative viewers that might be reading this post) it's a really great story about what we need vs. what we want and what really matters at the end ... Also it has the best "I Love You" scene I have seen in a while ... The quote I want to share is

I'm full of shit, okay? No I'm... I'm *knowingly* full of shit. Because, uh... because uh, uh... I have... I have *never* cared about anybody or anything in my entire life. And the thing is, everybody just kind of accepted that. Like, "That's just Jamie." And then you!... Jesus. *You*. You. You didn't see me that way. I have never known anyone who actually believed that I was enough. Until I met you. And then you made me believe it, too. So, uh... unfortunately... I need you. And you need me.

So that's enough sharing for today on my part ... please share your favorite movies and suggest movies that I should be watching ...

A Letter

I'll always remember your smile ... that beautiful kind face smiling ... your generous spirit ... your open arms ... your wise words ... your kind words ... always there for me though I rarely deserved them ...

I thought that I'll always have you ... I took seeing your beautiful face and hearing your sweet voice for granted .., and now they are just memories ... memories ... and you're gone ... ...

I want you back ... I can't hang on to memories ... memories that squeeze the tears out my heart ... so I let some go and keep some close ...

I am older now ... I understand ... I thought I never would but at least I am alive ... not always living though ...

I wish you all the best anyone can have ... and that I'll be able to see your sweet face and hear your kind words once more ...

Always Yours,
Ahmed

This letter is addressed to all my dear ones that are not with me now :)
Inspired by a dozen faces living on memories

Taking magic out of life

        maybe not :)Life is a miracle ... the fact that you're able to see the words, let alone reading them, is a real miracle ...

What would happen if you didn't have anyone to explain how that works to you  ?? ... you'd probably come up with something ...  if you're not interested in computers your explanation will be much more fun to you than any scientific explanation ... though you already know that's just how you see it and there is probably some other weird scientific explanation of it you'll feel good about ... maybe even content

Even if you are a geek all about science and facts guy, you don't know what's on the other end of a black hole , what causes cancer ??, how even are humans conscious ?? ... these are questions that you'll hear a dozen different explanations for ranging from what could only be viewed as miraculous magic to quantifications and cold hard math ... but you have your own explanation that you have settled on and feel comfortable with ...

So where am I going with this ??? ... some questions are better left unanswered for at least some of us ... leaving science aside ... the way I see it all scientific questions must be answered ... but let's see another type of questions ... the type of question like "do I deserve this ??", "why does she love me ??", "am I dying ??", "does my child remember me and thinks of me as much as I do ??" ...

Do you REALLY want to know ... for all you know the answer could be REALLY disappointing ... an answer you come up with is an answer you'll know how to live with and there'll be always the fact that you doesn't know it for sure ... but if answered .......

That's the type of questions I don't like answered ... what's yours???

No one told me it was gonna be like this

WELL ... college is over ... kind of, I am grad student you know ...

As soon as I finished the last thing that had to do with my undergrad life I had to make one of the biggest decisions I have ever had to make ... academia vs. industry ... I have always known what I wanted and sometimes I even knew what I needed but actually making a decision I know will affect the rest of my life and will be the base of every career decision I'll ever make from this point on was an experience unlike any I have ever lived ... having so many parameters to take in and even more I knew I was missing ... making this decision hit me hard ... and that was the easy one

Now faced by even bigger decisions ... I am not complaining I know it's a part of the growing up process ... but NO ONE TOLD ME it was gonna be like this ... or maybe nothing any one could have said would have prepared me for it ...

Heading for mandatory military service ... a dozen of opportunities gone astray and at least a year of my precious life WASTED ... this experience is giving me a chance to contemplate on what I am going to do next ... something I always thought I knew ...

So the biggest decision shows up ... to marry or not to marry ... ... ... and I can say that by far this decision is the hardest decision I'll ever have to make and it's the most risky, irrational, irresponsible, unnecessary and even idiotic ... of course I am exaggerating ... or am I ??

To whom ... that's irrelevant ... at least till I make up my mind that I am going to get married first ... I mean now ... it's not like I don't want to get married ever ... but this a decision that will shape my life in every single way ... at this point of my life I can see myself driving fast on a mountain side with no breaks nor safety belts, depending only on good judgement with virtually nothing to lose ... even if I ended up falling to mountain's foot I'll be able to put myself together and go up again ...

Marriage is like adding package to this speeding car ... precious, irreplaceable package ... risking everything now is risking only me ... and I'll always have my family to do damage control in case something really bad happens ... but adding this package to the equation ... it doesn't add up

Even if she was a risk loving, supporting and wise package ... she is package that I need to protect and secure ... I have to be the responsible one or at least responsible ... now I am only responsible for myself and that's not such a big responsibility and I know just how far I can go before I crack and how to mend those cracks ... but I am not getting married to get that package cracked or to even risk cracking her ...

OF COURSE there is a whole other issue I didn't mention ... the stupid marriage laws that our community has put ... apartment, car, income, security ...............

I am not following any of these laws ... I have my future to work on not some stupid over priced apartment ... I live to a certain standard and I am not giving it up and of course I have no intention to forcing my package to live a hair below that standard ... how I secure that level has nothing to do with what I can afford now ... I guess that's a discussion to be saved for the package's parents, family and friends ... this's Egypt, everyone has a saying in anything

To wrap things up ... leading one's life alone is a tough road ... a road that our parents have been preparing us for all our life ... but leading a family life is a different thing ... a different story ... the thing that complicates it the most is adding some else with probably different preparation for that road to your life and letting her help you navigate ...

ALL OPINIONS, CRITICISM AND EVEN SUPPORT ARE ENCOURAGED AND WELCOMED

A Story That Should Never Be Forgotten: "Palestine, remembering a past homeland"

Stop by the exhibitions hall, conference center, Bibliotheca Alexandrina to see the Palestine exhibition. If you don't have the time check out the stories told be the pictures below ...

Take the time to read the stories below the pictures ... to know ... to be reminded ... so you'd never forget.

Part of The Story:

Khalil Raad's Talking Images:

We should never forget this story and it should always be told and remembered ...

The more things change the more they stay the same

When I am at this point where I can't take an important decision .. when I can't take that necessary leap of faith, this quote comes to mind



"The more things change, the more they stay the same. I'm not sure who the first person was who said that. Probably Shakespeare. Or maybe Sting. But at the moment, it's the sentence that best explains my tragic flaw, my inability to change. I don't think I'm alone in this. The more I get to know other people, the more I realize it's kind of everyone's flaw. Staying exactly the same for as long as possible, standing perfectly still... It feels safer somehow. And if you are suffering, at least the pain is familiar. Because if you took that leap of faith, went outside the box, did something unexpected... Who knows what other pain might be out there, waiting for you. Chances are it could be even worse. So you maintain the status quo. Choose the road already traveled and it doesn't seem that bad. Not as far as flaws go. You're not a drug addict. You're not killing anyone... Except maybe yourself a little. When we finally do change, I don't think it happens like an earthquake or an explosion, where all of a sudden we're like this different person. I think it's smaller than that. The kind of thing most people wouldn't even notice unless they looked at us really close. Which, thank God, they never do. But you notice it. Inside you that change feels like a world of difference. And you hope this is it. This is the person you get to be forever... that you'll never have to change again."

The Best Family in the World

or maybe the worst ... I can't really tell anymore ... I got to witness miraculous events and gain life experiences at such a young age (16 and 17) ... got to know how it should feel to be really in love ... what it means to be a perfect husband ... what it means to be a good wife ... what it means to really care ...

I got to see people grateful in afflictions ... long and painful afflictions ... believing in God ... with their family (my family) supporting them ... always being there for them ...

Real love that could be both felt and seen ... witnessed on deathbeds ... in hospitals hallways ... at weddings ... and at dinner every night ... Unconditional love ... expecting nothing but more pain in return ... the pain of having to take on more responsibility ... accepting that burden without the slightest hesitation ... crying themselves to sleep every night ... only to draw a smile on their family's face ........

Depressing, tell me about it ...
Beautiful, can't think of anything more beautiful ....
Rare .........

I am just beginning my life ... drawing the first steps towards building my own part of that family ... thinking how can I settle for less!! ... and how can I find that rare beauty in such dark times ?! ...

Hoping :)