Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Music as I hear it: Eels - All The Beautiful Things

Here is a song that I can't think expresses anything but the loneliness of a single guy in love. I am not sure that I am that guy. But this much I know for sure, that even if I became that guy, I wouldn't do anything but do nothing at all ... maybe listen to this Eels's song a few times and write a blog post about it ...

Enjoy the depressing lyrics ...
Everyday I wake up, wonder why
I'm alone when I know I'm a lovely guy
Birds come down from sky so blue
See all the beautiful things you do
Why can't I just get with you
Every night I carry out my plan
Pray to God that one day I could be your man
Birds come down from sky so blue
See all the beautiful things you do
Why can't I just get with
You'd be my only friend in the world
Well you could just be my girl
And if I do run away from this life
There won't be much for me in the afterlife
Although I know that you don't even care
I'd rather stay in a world where
Birds come down from sky so blue
See all the beautiful things you do
Why can't I just get with you

Monday, June 27, 2011

A Random Thought

"What would history students think of us ??"

Just six months ago I had a very pessimistic answer to that question. I thought that we'd be looked at like those who allowed the Greeks, the Romans, the Turks and the English to rule Egypt without a word loud enough to be remembered. People that history forgets soon enough. But how wrong I have been ...

We are living one of the most interesting periods in Egypt's history. Being part of any sector of the Egyptian society you'll get to notice how everyone is starting to change. Even if they haven't made up their minds yet on what they want to be, everyone is ceasing to be his or her old self looking for his or her part of the much anticipated bright future.

But what I have been noticing also is that we are not given an answer to what should we do next ? The answer to that question for all Egyptians six months ago is to "bring down the regime" but that period is long gone now and "prosecuting the regime's figures" is not something for everyone to do, it something that we want so is ruling.

Yet you find a huge number of parties forming so fast with a lot of overlapping major goals and differences in minor goals. This makes me wonder what they'll be focusing on really after -if- they get elected, the greatest goals or to fight for those minor causes.

Replacing "bringing down the regime" with another national project is what a lot of  politicians, thinkers and even scientists are suggesting now with no REAL project that touches the lives of all Egyptians out there.  Maybe because we're still in a transitional phase but with the parliament election almost here we should be seeing at least some hints. Either way that's not what I think that we need right now.

What I think we need is a "National Source of Inspiration". In other words we need a national source of hope. That's what made the revolution work in the first place. Instead of thinking of our generation as the "internet generation" with blundering thoughts and no real goals, our parents, rulers and the rest of the world saw real heros taking a stand against a tyrant that no one had the heart to really say no to, taking the beating and growing stronger with every martyr they lose. 

That spirit is what made the Egyptians rebel and I think that's exactly what we need in this phase. We need to learn to ask the right questions not ask for the impossible and to expect real actions towards a better government not to expect magic.

Finally, we need a government that can direct and lead the unstoppable need for change in everyone of us towards a better Egyptian community.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Not so random quotes

"Never, never marry, my dear fellow! That's my advice: never marry till you can say to yourself that you have done all you are capable of, and until you have ceased to love the woman of your choice and have seen her plainly as she is, or else you will make a cruel and irrevocable mistake. Marry when you are old and good for nothing- or all that is good and noble in you will be lost. It will all be wasted on trifles. Yes! Yes! Yes! Don't look at me with such surprise. If you marry expecting anything from yourself in the future, you will feel at every step that for you all is ended, all is closed except the drawing room, where you will be ranged side by side with a court lackey and an idiot!... But what's the good?..." Prince Andrew - War and Peace (Leo Tolstoy)

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Is It All an ACT ?

I've had so many ideas that I wanted to mention here ... what I do is that I wait for a few hours and if I still have the urge to write a post I do ... well ... I didn't have that urge till today ... and damn it !! it's too personal ...

Today I had one of the most insightful conversations I had in months

Almost everyone that knows me know that I have a "crisis" in my personal life ... Hmm ... it's not that bad ... I just have no idea where it's going ... and you might have already guessed it, I HAVE to know where everything is going with my life ...

What I said casually today revealed a huge part of what I think is my problem and that is "I am insecure" ... maybe you think I am not and maybe you think I totally am ... I hadn't been able to face some of my personal fears because - I think - I lack what it takes to take them down ... maybe I don't have the courage or maybe I don't think I have it so I never tried to find it ...

I consider my professional life an extraordinary one (not so insecure, almost too arrogant) ... I made all the unusual decisions ... I am taking an unusual path exploring my way through it with no doubts nor regrets ...

On the other hand my personal life is a mess ... if I even have one ... although I have no regrets (that a rule) I have my doubts ... I rarely see my friends ... I rarely get to have any real conversations ... and other stuff I deleted because I can't share it ... and finally I am obsessed with one problem that identifies me for the time being ...

"Will I ever have someone to share my life with ???" ... well, my answer is NO and today I got a brand new answer to the question WHY for that NO ... I lack the confidence, maybe the courage or maybe both to have it otherwise ... I always thought I was arrogant, conceited, vain (I am having the GRE General soon) .........

But the words that came out of my mouth today tells me otherwise ... I am totally frightened by "getting rejected for who I am not what I do" ...